I hope i'll fall asleep before i die

Felt forsaken from time to time Been told family is breaking apart
blame it on the ungrateful me
I was told to the be reason for such disharmony

Now you're carrying my unborn child
threatened to leave me all alone
will you take my beloved children, gone
They are my life source, i can't live if they're gone

shocked me whenyou told me you don't want the child
that's my flesh and blood God has given us
I feel lousier as the days go by
Kept blaming me for not changing my ways

should have let me fit till i turn stiff blue
then your trouble is gone
blissful life is want you want
blissful life is what you'll get

I will be happy even if laying still in my grave
seeing my children playing, you face radiates again
oh, just happiness that's what you longed for
if i can't give you when i'm alive, perhaps things'll change when i'm dead

should have forsaken me when faced with the jaw of death
why did you asked the doctors to revive me?
its painless, as circulation to my brain has stopped
can't you wait a minute longer till I'm dead?

You don't realized or ever understand how I think
I love you with all my life, my dearest wife
I went astrayed and had to fight my way back
my life is a constant battle, battle from inside

Never thought my life will end up this way
saved a thousand but let my life slipping by
why? I don't deserve that! i have no faith in you
these are the words i am all too familiar with
haven't i done anything right all this while?

Am i such a lousy individual?
am i the trash of society, i don't know
You begin to convince me
Of all the lousy things about me

I feel sad and you deserve a better person
I have contemplated suicide for a while now
Each time i try to rammed myself to die
But all that i see were my children's eye

So God I pray to you over and over again
help me to better myself, not break myself
If this is how my life was meant to be
take me with you,God to be with you again.

--W.C.H--