Ponder on it

Ever wonder why we existent? We grew up, most of us grew up hard, losing loved ones, encountering numerous heartbreaking moments, suffers along the way to old age, then ultimately face the inevitable death without a single penny able to bring over to the other side. ( I still wonder whether Heaven or Hell really exist, or is it merely a concept) Why most of us face unbearable sadness that drives us to the brink of insanity?
This somehow made me wonder if God ever really exist. We're supposed to be His child. You're supposed to guide us in life to the path of truth. But instead, why most of us are lead astray and ended our lives tragically?
Death, famine, wars, genocide, racial killings all for the sake of Religion. But i thought " For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.For God sent the son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved though him." --John 3:16-17
Many of us are still lost, leaving in fear, filled with hatred in this "felt like God forsaken world" The idea of the Holy Trinity a times seemed so far away, beyond reach, even when we're down on our bended knees pleading to him without knowing whether would He have heard our calls to Him.
Then why Lord, we as your children are often lost when You promised us that "For the son of man came to seek and to save the lost."--Luke 19:10
Society is filled with menace and evil doers, who steals, rapes, and kills. And yet, you love both pure in heart and sinful man equally?Why, Lord? If our life doesn't revolves around the cycle of death and birth and in accordance to the law of karma, how can one justify an innocent soul being killed? In the concept of Karma, if the person who did something evil, he would be punishable by death either in the present life or the next life.
But if no circle of life, then this poor fellow lived his life probably with hopes and dreams like all of us was just killed... just like that.. This doesn't make sense.
We know we are Your creation, and that Your thoughts are higher than ours, but the simple act of taking another person's life is unjustifiable. We are all your children, Lord. We deserve Your love, not Satan's wrath.
Heaven Father, You gave up Your only Son, Jesus Christ's life in Calvary for the forgiveness of the past sins men has committed? The Devil's work is still rampant today. When will Your second coming will be?
Life today, is still a constant battle between good and evil. To me, the battle if fought in the mind.
Evil manifest itself as doubts, uncertainty, fear, jealousy, etc.
How do we arm ourselves to fight this impossible fight in life, God.
I found myself asking this question in prayers quite often lately. God I pray that you reveal yourself to me in your own special way, Lord.