A budding flower or a dying flower

I would normally change the flowers in the clinic once every three days. I want the the clinic to have a livelier ambient.
Looking back, when my problem started, Ive always seek out solution to my problem. That's why I chose "Better Days" as the title of my blog. I was pretty inspired by Tupac Shakur poetic lyrics, Better Days.

Then subtitle "The rose that grew from the concrete"
I took the saying from a poem that Tupac wrote.

I have always live my life with his code. Ironically, what struck my mind was to capture a photo of a flower, and you tell me whether its a dying or just about to bloom....check out the series

What do you think, a budding flower or a dying flower....
It is, in fact, a dying flower. Without digital alteration it would look like this

My life,is like this dying flower. The smile that I wore on my face is to deceive. I feel down all the time, sad, depressed, there are times I felt my poor wife would easily find a better man as a husband. I simply do not know why? I do everything morally correct. I respect my patients, I not only treat the patients, but i spent time explaining to them what do they have, and why they had it. I think I am the only doctor who does follow up calls to check on the status of patient in this area. My intention is to heal. But why is it that the wicked, the swayed, the dishonest earns the money, while me, who believed the Hippocratic Oath down to its core isn't doing well?
As a matter of fact, I was given a year more to make this clinic productive.Otherwise, it will be closed.And I have three young kids.I feel bad cause I spent more than 10 hours a day, trying to earn a living, and missing out being a father to them.
"God, if You are  listening to me. This isnt fair.Ive abide to your teachings and I would appreciate it if I could  see the fruits while I am living, while my family is around.
Sometimes I find it hard, as even the closest amongst my family don't understand me.I am constantly subjected to blames and other verbal abuses.
Lord, I treat my patient with the most genuine of heart.Weren't you the one who asked me to serve the people and an extension to your hand in reaching out to mankind?
Like right now, eventhough the clinic closest at 7pm, it's already 7.15pm. Peace....
Lastly, I would like fellow readers to listen to this song by Amir Yusoff and Azman Warren
here.