untitled

sometimes I feel like gasping for air
the life that I live seem devoid of purpose and meaning
Why even bother existing
when I don't even feel like living

People who are closest to me
are in fact people who are furthest to me
highly educated, well experienced,
yet lack understanding their own son

Was is my fault I don't achieve success
When I've already done my best
You wanted me to change
I've changed so much, I've been my best

But my best wasn't good enough
Cause you don't see money coming from me
For 4 fucking years I've worked without taking a leave
for 4 fucking years I've worked without a salary

I've walked through the valley of shadow of death
No one helped me, I was down on my knees
the devil was prancing on me
I needed help but nobody was there for me

For the longest time my mind was in a cold dark place
I was trapped, trying to escape this horrible place
I was once dependent on sleeping aid
Ever ask me why I took instead of labeling me as a drug addict?

I need a place to escape
No place on earth where I can contemplate
upon my life you think it's easy to live
You have any idea how many time's I've thought of shorten my life?

When I wanted to inject the substance to end my life
all I see was my children's eyes
I dropped the syringe and seek help
I'll fight on, no thanks to your fucking help

When my youngest son was born
I begin to see life beyond my own
I saw the purpose of my life now
It's directly opposite of the way you taught me how.