sometimes I feel like gasping for air
the life that I live seem devoid of purpose and meaning
Why even bother existing
when I don't even feel like living
People who are closest to me
are in fact people who are furthest to me
highly educated, well experienced,
yet lack understanding their own son
Was is my fault I don't achieve success
When I've already done my best
You wanted me to change
I've changed so much, I've been my best
But my best wasn't good enough
Cause you don't see money coming from me
For 4 fucking years I've worked without taking a leave
for 4 fucking years I've worked without a salary
I've walked through the valley of shadow of death
No one helped me, I was down on my knees
the devil was prancing on me
I needed help but nobody was there for me
For the longest time my mind was in a cold dark place
I was trapped, trying to escape this horrible place
I was once dependent on sleeping aid
Ever ask me why I took instead of labeling me as a drug addict?
I need a place to escape
No place on earth where I can contemplate
upon my life you think it's easy to live
You have any idea how many time's I've thought of shorten my life?
When I wanted to inject the substance to end my life
all I see was my children's eyes
I dropped the syringe and seek help
I'll fight on, no thanks to your fucking help
When my youngest son was born
I begin to see life beyond my own
I saw the purpose of my life now
It's directly opposite of the way you taught me how.
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Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sometimes I Cry
Sometimes when I am alone
I cry because I am on my own
The tears I cry are bitter and warm
They flow with life but take no form
I cry because my heart is torn
and I find it difficult to carry on
If I had ear to confide in
I would cry among my treasured friends
But who do you know that stops that long
to help another carry on
The world moves fast and it would rather pass you by
then to stop and see what makes you cry
It's painful and sad and sometimes I cry
and no one cares about why....
I cry because I am on my own
The tears I cry are bitter and warm
They flow with life but take no form
I cry because my heart is torn
and I find it difficult to carry on
If I had ear to confide in
I would cry among my treasured friends
But who do you know that stops that long
to help another carry on
The world moves fast and it would rather pass you by
then to stop and see what makes you cry
It's painful and sad and sometimes I cry
and no one cares about why....
Friday, November 4, 2011
Only in Malaysia
I was about to go for dinner when suddenly this Chinese dude parked his car right opposite my clinic. Sincerely, I don't know what was this guy thinking when he parallel park his car in a straight parking area.
Straight away, he occupied two spaces. What's wrong with Malaysian drivers? Seriously? Were we taught to be idiotic,moronic, or imbecile drivers?
Straight away, he occupied two spaces. What's wrong with Malaysian drivers? Seriously? Were we taught to be idiotic,moronic, or imbecile drivers?
Sickening country
It was merely 16 years ago when I joined Kasturba Medical College,Manipal, India as a first year student. The 1 1/2 hours ride from Mangalore Airport to Manipal was refreshing. All that I saw was unending greenery. I can't help but smile the moment I reached Manipal. A small University town bustling with activities. It definitely felt like home. With cows by the roadside, dusty road, tropical heat, definitely home.
I've never felt homesick, throughout the entire 5 1/2 years there. Life is slow, peaceful. The only worries and stress was exam, which I could have easily avoided if I were to study persistently and constantly.
Despite being in a third world country, and a town, perhaps an entire country where poverty is so rampant, it's a common sight to see people sleeping by the roadside. But despite of their poverty and struggle in life, I've never encounter and even heard of petty crimes such as snatch thieves, robberies, house break ins, etc.
While in Malaysia, I am sorry for sounding unpatriotic, but truth be told, it's a shitty place. Its unsafe. You get robbed. Just days ago, while cycling, my pouch that contains all my valuables, my wallet, credit cards, my iphone, IC with house address, and house key was snatched. I was wearing all black, yet these guys were so swift that they managed to passed me by, and quickly unbuckled my pouch, and I was going downhill and was going quite fast. Luckily I wasn't dragged or fall down from the bike otherwise I would have been ran over by those 3-4 cars coming at full speed from behind me.
Just 20 minutes prior to that, there were two Indians who tried to knock me off my bike with their helmet, but luckily with God's grace, a car approached from behind and I quickly swerved to the left. The moment I swerved, that was when I felt the helmet being swung next to my head.
What has this place come to? What the heck are the police up to? All that they are good at is catching guys with BB guns, some old lady drivers, checking poor foreigners who traveled here to struggle to work, and what step was implemented to curb these snatch thieves? Nothing. You could easily come out with a profile of these snatch thieves. Most of them are young. Jobless. Owns a 2 stroke motorbike, young and some are even underage.I don't mean to be a racist, but everybody knows what race predominantly these people are.
Just two days ago when I started cycling, again, another two youngster passed me by and slowed down while watching me cycle, and sped off the moment seeing me not carrying anything. Seriously, since that particularly day, each time i see youngsters riding motorbike who passes me by, I feel like simply catching one of them and beat them into pulp.
I even fantasize setting a trap by looking for C4 and pack them into a pouch, and wear them. The moment they snatch it, the next thing they know they've become room mates with Osama and Saddam!
If they just steal money it's still alright.(i mean not that I condone it),but being a snatch thief, their action has caused so many deaths. I've witnessed 3 of the while working in Accident and Emergency department in Hospital Kuala Lumpur. The worst part was once there was this Danish couple who were in their 70's. The lady was a heart disease patient. Hence she was on blood thinning drugs. Her hand bag was snatched, she was dragged on the road, hit her head, had internal bleeding in her brain that wouldn't stop, and died. Imagine coming all the way from Denmark for holiday and such things happened!
Instead of pretending, why can't the police actually do something? Have more roadblocks, check for licenses, if you ask me, it's so easy for profiling a potential snatch thief. Most of them are under 30, unemployed, on motorbike, upon such criteria, investigate further! Preventing crime is a lot easier than solving. Out of 100 cases of snatch thieves, how many do you think the police are able to solve, or actually move their ass to actually try to solve? In my case, they didn't do anything. Just issue a police report and asked me to go to JPN to apply for a new ID, that's it!
Even when I located my Iphone through GPS, the sergeant just casually told me they will dispatch a unit to investigate. What bull crap!
The very next day, they contacted my wife telling her that they found my IC and "platinum" card. When my wife asked was it Ambank platinum card, they rephrased, and mentioned only the IC was found.
I was pissed, mad as hell. Each time i think about that incident, I feel like driving around, looking for someone who is suspicious and just ram into them. I mean it's simply not safe to live in KL anymore.
I am actually lucky considering the circumstances. 3 incidences happened on the same night. In Puchong, a lady while taking a leak at a local petrol station ended not only being robbed, but raped as well.
These people should be in hell.
I've never felt homesick, throughout the entire 5 1/2 years there. Life is slow, peaceful. The only worries and stress was exam, which I could have easily avoided if I were to study persistently and constantly.
Despite being in a third world country, and a town, perhaps an entire country where poverty is so rampant, it's a common sight to see people sleeping by the roadside. But despite of their poverty and struggle in life, I've never encounter and even heard of petty crimes such as snatch thieves, robberies, house break ins, etc.
While in Malaysia, I am sorry for sounding unpatriotic, but truth be told, it's a shitty place. Its unsafe. You get robbed. Just days ago, while cycling, my pouch that contains all my valuables, my wallet, credit cards, my iphone, IC with house address, and house key was snatched. I was wearing all black, yet these guys were so swift that they managed to passed me by, and quickly unbuckled my pouch, and I was going downhill and was going quite fast. Luckily I wasn't dragged or fall down from the bike otherwise I would have been ran over by those 3-4 cars coming at full speed from behind me.
Just 20 minutes prior to that, there were two Indians who tried to knock me off my bike with their helmet, but luckily with God's grace, a car approached from behind and I quickly swerved to the left. The moment I swerved, that was when I felt the helmet being swung next to my head.
What has this place come to? What the heck are the police up to? All that they are good at is catching guys with BB guns, some old lady drivers, checking poor foreigners who traveled here to struggle to work, and what step was implemented to curb these snatch thieves? Nothing. You could easily come out with a profile of these snatch thieves. Most of them are young. Jobless. Owns a 2 stroke motorbike, young and some are even underage.I don't mean to be a racist, but everybody knows what race predominantly these people are.
Just two days ago when I started cycling, again, another two youngster passed me by and slowed down while watching me cycle, and sped off the moment seeing me not carrying anything. Seriously, since that particularly day, each time i see youngsters riding motorbike who passes me by, I feel like simply catching one of them and beat them into pulp.
I even fantasize setting a trap by looking for C4 and pack them into a pouch, and wear them. The moment they snatch it, the next thing they know they've become room mates with Osama and Saddam!
If they just steal money it's still alright.(i mean not that I condone it),but being a snatch thief, their action has caused so many deaths. I've witnessed 3 of the while working in Accident and Emergency department in Hospital Kuala Lumpur. The worst part was once there was this Danish couple who were in their 70's. The lady was a heart disease patient. Hence she was on blood thinning drugs. Her hand bag was snatched, she was dragged on the road, hit her head, had internal bleeding in her brain that wouldn't stop, and died. Imagine coming all the way from Denmark for holiday and such things happened!
Instead of pretending, why can't the police actually do something? Have more roadblocks, check for licenses, if you ask me, it's so easy for profiling a potential snatch thief. Most of them are under 30, unemployed, on motorbike, upon such criteria, investigate further! Preventing crime is a lot easier than solving. Out of 100 cases of snatch thieves, how many do you think the police are able to solve, or actually move their ass to actually try to solve? In my case, they didn't do anything. Just issue a police report and asked me to go to JPN to apply for a new ID, that's it!
Even when I located my Iphone through GPS, the sergeant just casually told me they will dispatch a unit to investigate. What bull crap!
The very next day, they contacted my wife telling her that they found my IC and "platinum" card. When my wife asked was it Ambank platinum card, they rephrased, and mentioned only the IC was found.
I was pissed, mad as hell. Each time i think about that incident, I feel like driving around, looking for someone who is suspicious and just ram into them. I mean it's simply not safe to live in KL anymore.
I am actually lucky considering the circumstances. 3 incidences happened on the same night. In Puchong, a lady while taking a leak at a local petrol station ended not only being robbed, but raped as well.
These people should be in hell.
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